The secret

 This was an old post sometime in 2007/2008...my blog got messed up with timeline

I finally watched "The Secret" today!

It's amazing, there were some of the things that they talked about that I had realized this year, myself...that was- it is always possible to make a change in ones life! It’s true...



It is true; people can have what they really want to have...



I am not going to brag, I don't think bragging is ever a good idea[though, sometimes, can’t help it!], bragging wastes time, energy, and in the process of bragging, you bring back your past, and so in the process...you stay still for sometime!



So all I would say is that is check out below: Wednesday, February 7, 2007, the poem I wrote was :I wanna....read it, and you would know what I mean!!...You must WISH and WANT!!



...That is just the beginning



An interesting fact:

>My mum always said, “Just ask for it ”



And this was the message in this documentary too; …well mum’s subject was philosophy; that explains it!

What will happen if I loose my sight?? Current mood: worried

This was an old post from 2007 or earlier

..my blog got messed up recently with timeline...

I am addicted to PC, I mean..I stare on the monitor for like hours and hours...in my last job I had to work on PC for 9 hours...non stop..its not that I cudn't take break,I didn't...when I didn't work,I surfed around....
...Then oneday, I heard that if I stare at the monitor for hours non stop..I'll go blind...then I heard a doc say(on TV) that one shud take break every 20 minutes...and look away from the screen for 20 sec and stare at something that is atleast 20 ft away...
............So did I stop??Remember I am an addict??lol!So I thought..incase I do get blind..I decided that I'd rather learn BRAILLE...you know the alphabets blind ppl use to read and write..
So I did a bit of research,on the net of course!lol!
But the problem is, though Louis Braille invented the system in 1821(!) so that he could read book..oh dear me,learning braille won't help me, would it now?

How am I to sit in front of PC?
How on earth will I see the world, and meet new ppl?
How can I see the beautiful world?
How will I see the sky,and stare at the amazing colors it plays with?
How will I paint?
How will I dress cool without my sight?!
How on earth will I direct my short films...and then become a filmmaker,oneday?

(Which reminds me , did you guys watch that film by Woddy Allen, where he directs a film,completely blind!was very funny,but can't remember the name of the film...Can you?)

And, most importantly,how will I see you??

Oh! It won't be good!...BUT I CAN"T STOP! HELP!

Another New Year-Another chance

 So just 2nd week in, in the new year! I love starting New Years. It always gives me hope for a fresh start. So far it feels like no different though still having the same conversations, the same worries, the same  stress.

But I tell mys i am writi g again!

telf. Nope I won't let that get me down...nope!

After many year...I am going to start blogging again..stay tuned.

Blog under construction

Is there any point in having CCTV ??

I see CCTV all around London...It definitely feels like all eyes are on me...and then I think..well thank goodness... no one can harm me because they know cops are watching...or cops are probably not watching every second but they have the tape..everything will be on tape. This feeling might be shared by millions. But last week, my friend went out at night, just to get a few essentials from a shop down the road. It was crowded. Suddenly a bloke ran from behind her , turned around and blew a punch on her jaw..and ran. No one came forward obviously. The incident was reported to police , of course. What happened next are as follows. The cops called her every 24 hours, asking about the incident, taking statements and promising to have a look at CCTV for that time. Week passed and the result was, my friend was given a few advice. For example if something happens, she should call cops that instance,and they will turn their camera in that direction ...and not wait to go home and try to put ice bag on face before she rings...how ridiculous is this. For your reference, no arrests were made and her face is still swollen. So a question...is CCTV there really ensuring public safety and crime prevention. Or is it just for show...giving false hope we are safe...

Ameerah Haq made UN under secy general

Congrats to Ameerah Haq Ameerah has overall 37 years of career in the United Nations (19 years in the field and 18 years at the headquarters). She brings to the position extensive management and operational experience, supporting complex mission deployments and transition activities, including crisis management, Ban's office said. She was formerly a Deputy Assistant Administrator and Deputy Director, Bureau of Crisis Prevention & Recovery, at United Nations Development Programme (UNDP) Headquarters in New York. Ameerah Haq, became the highest-ranking Bangladeshi official at the United Nations. http://www.thedailystar.net/newDesign/news-details.php?nid=231866

My friend's very expensive Soulmatefood experience

My diet obsessed friend recently signed up for a celebrity style diet program, from Harrods, called Soulmatefood ( soulmatefood.com)... Catchy phrase, Urban Retreat at Harrords...ever heard of it?

http://www.urbanretreat.co.uk/Harrods/The_Body_Clinic/Soulmate_Food.aspx

Anyway, the price she is paying is eye watering 250 quids per week...real madness I must say...

Anyway, today during her snack time, I got an emergency call...ahem...fly in her Jellied Fruit!! Wah!! I had to see it to believe it...container sealed...hang on whats that black thing...is it a seed...wait for it...It's got legs and wings...my goodness...pic below..meanwhile I lost my appetite...Ugh

Fav Quotes

Look well to this day. Yesterday is but a dream and tomorrow is only a vision. But today well lived makes every yesterday a dream of happiness and every tomorrow a vision of hope. Look well therefore to this day.

-Excerpt from an ancient Sanskrit poem

We all have dreams. But in order to make dreams come into reality, it takes an awful lot of determination, dedication self-discipline, sacrifice and effort.

When the archer misses the mark, he turns and looks for the fault within himself. Failure to hit the bull's eye is never the fault of the target. To improve your aim - improve yourself."
Gilbert Arland

Humans have a knack for choosing precisely the things that are worst for them.
- J. K. Rowling

Anyone who thinks they're important is usually just a pompous moron who can't deal with his or her own pathetic insignificance and the fact that what they do is meaningless and inconsequential.

"I love sleep. My life has the tendency to fall apart when I'm awake, you know?"

-Ernest Hemingway

Life will dictate itself. You should allow it to unfold as naturally as possible. Just go with the flow. When you're really desperate, you say a few prayers and hope for the best

-SZ rephrasing some quote

Everyone is entitled to my opinion.

-SZ rephrasing some quote

“For every minute you remain angry, you give up sixty seconds of peace of mind.”

-Ralph Waldo Emerson

"There is a story, which is fairly well known, about when the missionaries came to Africa.
They had the Bible and we, the natives, had the land.
They said "Let us pray," and we dutifully shut our eyes.
When we opened them, why, they now had the land and we had the Bible."

-Desmond M. Tutu

Endless Rain

Beautiful piece!

Spanish Romance

I love it,,,love it!

I am a bit excited today, I spoke to a director from Singapore. She worked in TV production for many years...she's 49 now and is doing her Masters in Documentary. Her name: Wahida.

OK the reason behind me being so excited is that we spoke about filmmaking, the procedures, editing tools etc. She is a professional and I felt like I got my invaluable resource of information...the door to gain knowledge from an expert. So I tried to share whatever I knew to check out what I was missing...learnt a lot from her and our conversation went really well.

I have been working on this short film plot for a while, and had shared that idea with many of my friends. I was a bit disappointed because most of them didn't really get the point...so I left it at that.

So today I took the opportunity and described her the plot...she seemed quite excited about it...I was soooo glad...well she could actually visualise the things exactly as I meant...and she was contributing...it was very interactive.

So yes, seems like I am in the right track...hope I don't get steered away!

A man is having a long walk...he is listening to music on i-shuffle. So many thoughts are passing his mind.He is a writer and is busy constructing stories...he sees images, flashes of memories, faces,expressions,bits and pieces of events...

There were birds flying around and it was a windy afternoon. He was walking around in a park.

Suddenly he saw an image in his mind. Someone walking fast(only legs can be seen), as he was about to turn to a corner, a strong wind past and a bird flew and hit his stomach. The man falls and the bird's beak had hit his stomach, and as the man held the bird; accidentally; he was quivering, and the bird scratched him more to fight free. The man lies on the pavement,blood spilling on all directions and people are circling around him.

At that moment something hit the writer, he held his stomach, holding whatever had hit him,he fell down and started screaming like a hurt man.

A boy called back and ran towards him, "Sorry! are you hurt?"

The boy was trying hard to keep himself from laughing. The writer suddenly realized something. He opened his hands, it was just a ball! A tennis ball!

The writer stood up and gave the ball to the boy, ashamed of his reaction . Others stared at him as if he was mad. Who would ever know, what was going on in his mind?

I don't know what had happened recently...I have been writing a lot of crap in here...looks like a mess down there!

I realized that I haven't written any of my thoughts and ideas here...I usually put them down in my diary...but God! This place seems to be starving for my thoughts!



So okay I'll start by putting my about life at first. Well it is my point of view and only applicable to me of course. ...

You see I think one should break up the life into phases...like,
each 5 years= 1 phase
...And every phase should have a purpose...it should start off with a new beginning…
....a new prespective of life...a new life...
if one fails in one phase…then should start off fresh with a new phase....if succeeds in a phase one can continue that phase and prolong the success....I think in that way one can never be depressed with life...and life would be much simpler, yet fulfilling...

I want to be in my death bed thinking...what have I done...if I can think of a phase of my life that I loved and enjoyed then I can die peacefully...and much would be done in a life time , don't you think? ?

So I was thinking that day,

I am sitting in this cold dark room
lonely and sad
and your face keeps
flashing
over and over again!

I am desperately holding on to
the memories that I had
with you my darling
I remember the times when you would
nuzzle at my ears
and make me blush!

And how you held me
in your warm arms
So safe I felt then
How nice it felt..

Yes I am remembering all that had happened
It's sad though!
What went wrong??
It never worked and never would...

I miss you deeply it is true..
Would you come back again
and kiss my forehead
just as you did...

Would you touch my temple?
As tenderly as you did
And speak to me with that deep voice
....enlightening me with all your thoughts!

Yes I miss you deeply
It is true...
Yes I am holding on those sweet memories...
remembering you...

Moon?

Sometimes I wonder

Am I like a moon?

My mood as you see

Is sometime shiny

And sometime blue

You look at me from a distance

I seem nice?

But as you come closer and closer

You would see all the flaws within

I take deep breath...

It's sad though

With all the love that I have got...

I hide my self behind the fake thick curtain

Showing different shapes

At different times

AS I glow...

I smile and love

And then I disappers

You won't find the person you had loved

with affection and care

I seem nice

From far you see

But as you come close to me

you would see all the flaws within

I am a moon you see

I shine on your light

and act like it is mine!

I hide behind the thick thick curtain

Taking different shapes

You would see the different sides of me at times

Yet you would still love me

And write poems about me

and compare me with your love

I look up

As I look up at the sky
the dark dark sky

I sigh

No stars up high
I sigh and sigh

Where will I find those glittering
and gleaming

and twinkling stars

That I wish I could reach

And touch…

I wait and wait

As patiently as I can…

Is it a test or punishment?

I know not…
But I wait…

And then the wait is over

I know what it is worth...

The star that I had longed for

All these years or so…

Is playing peek a boo

With my tiny little soul

I sigh again…

For I know I can’t reach it

Anymore

Will the star finally give in

Or should I wait some more….

Would you?

Would you like to join the dance with me?
Would you like to sing that song for me?
Would you like to be my guest in the mid-night?
Would you share the life with me?
Would you care if I die?
Would you really care if I lie?
Would you be by my side?
Would you like to share this life with me?
Would you be the one...
...the one who can save me?
...and take care of me...
Would you like to sing that song for me?

I love thee

I love thee as I
see
wisdom flows in deep deep sea
I love thee
those creases
excites me!
As I hear those words
and I hear with wide sparkling eyes
I try to understand
put up a helping hand...
but then I know you know more
listen as I listen
I touch
I caress the creases on your forehead
and touch those silver threads
and I stare at your beautiful eyes glinting with love
I try to go deep in your mind
swim and dive deep down
I see through your eyes
the world I have never seen
I love thee!
I love to hear you speak
and as you enlighten me with all that you have learnt
seen
and observed
Your care and wisdom
touches me deep within
you inspire me
you enlighten me
I love thee!

Above was an old old poem from prior 2007..I have somehow mess3d up all the timelines

So what is it I really want?

Do I want to lead a normal life where I just get a decent job,get married and have kids...and then blame my kids and pot-bellied hubby forever coz in my death bed I won't be able to think of anything I did in my life that is worth it?!


Or do I just be a complete loser by slumping on my couch and watching all the films people had made and then keep bickering that I could've done better...but everyone else would roll their eyes?!


Hump!I don't want to be either of them!I wanna do something...direct films....but when??how??

I mean I have got the stories planned out but I don't have the equipments to work on indie...



And who am I kidding, I am broke most of the time....Gosh maybe my life will be like that of the crappy movie Bowfinger!lol!

My Music Video

Ok..sorry to keep you waiting for so long for the details...well the main reason for not putting it up was..I was really worried that I might not be able to finish it on time...

Anyway..now that it is done..here goes!

The day before shooting..Friday 23rd Feb,2007...I started reminding everyone that they were to make it by 10am at my house the next day(I had already booked them up for Sat,24th Feb 2007, giving them certain instructions for costumes etc...a "week" back)...but on that 23rd Friday...Sharmin my dear friend let me know at 11pm ( night) that she had forgotten to call up this girl I was asking for(was supposed to playing a part in my video!)...now that she had called her..she said she cudn't make it in such short notice!After sulking with Sharm..I called the girl..talked to her for a long time...and then she agreed.Then I called Ornob(Yes..the famous Ornob singer!)...he had just then stepped down from plane...I had asked him to help me with camera work..coz he was experienced and all, plus he had professional camera etc..and he seemed quite enthusiastic at the time...
Anyway he told me he would be there too the next day...
So happy and glad..with a lot of things in my mind...I sat down and started working on some accessories...my storyboard etc...then went to bed really late.

Shooting day:24th Feb,2007

Woke up early.
Sharm came at 10 am exactly...me glad..but she gloomy...she had to go home early..and could give me only an hour or so...where as she was to stay till afternoon!Me pissed a little...
Then called Ornob..doesn't answer phone..WORRIED..
Called Iftee..busy with his application stuffs...promised will be coming soon...still didn't have his sports apparel but will be getting them soon...
Oh My God!I was shocked and not happy with progress...all my plans were going wrong...meanwhile Ornob still not answering phone... must be sleeping after a week long travel!
Oh..I haven't told already...that I needed a child star...who I couldn't manage...so I was counting on a RISK...If I see a kid on the playground I'll convince and shoot...I know..everyone thought it was stupid!But I had to take the risk!No OPTION!

Ok so my characters were as follows:
A little girl<- lonely when she was a kid
A big girl<- Is looking sad thinking about her chilhood
Another hot looking woman<-getting plastic surgery..but becomes a warewolf after!Just a joke on plastic surgery
A guitarist
A footballer<- kicks ball on the screen (!)

So I was still at home calling Ornob and waiting for Iftee(supposed to be the footballer)..By the way Sharm and Iftee are going out...
Anyway...to make things worse that girl I called last night..sms- es me she can't make it for blah blah reasons..
So me thinking hard..what to do..I had to everything on Sat coz that is the onlyday I have holiday...
I called my neighbor..Farah...cud she come up??She said she had exams the next day..but since I insisted she came..on the spot I told her she had to give a shot for my Video...she estatic...quickly put on some makeup to look nice on the camera(my digital one...).
Then after trial and error...I got the shot I had wanted!
Iftee came at 11am..with his jersey and all...He got dressed and we were ready to go out...
meanwhile Ornob's cellphone was off...so I had to pray to Allah...and worried how my cheap camera will work...worried and a little down.. we headed off to a playground...

Now the hot girl for the Plastic surgery part called and said she couldn't make it!Anyway... none of the playground we went to wheren't right..In one of the there was league match so couldn't enter...the others didn't look green enough..by this time Iftee realized he didn't bring a football!
One bad news after another!

Anyway..while them two were loosing hope..I had to stay optimistic..finally I took them to a playground near my office..and that was it!There were some warm-up going on for a football match at oneside...and there was another playground with swings and all..just as in my storyboard that I had drawn...and it was empty..
So I went up a player and borrowed a ball..they gave me 10 mins..Iftee took some shots but at the end couldn't give a target...he is after all a PROGRAMMER..and a genius..but not a sportsman...and that was when I spotted a girl on a swing...perfect...she was cute and smart...I talked to her...and that was it...I took all the shots needed for my MV....

Then I went up to one of the players and asked if he could give a shot..he agreed...at it was superb!The effect was to make it look like the footballer hits on the camera and the screen breaks into pieces...Ofcourse I was behind the net but you couldn't tell...very smart!

Anyway...the guitarist was Iftee's friend..he could play well...and keeping the cosmic surgery part as cartoon...and not sleeping for 3 nights editing at midnight and working at office at daytime...I looked like a loonatic crazy woman...but it payed off...
My Video was posted and now I am happy that it is done!Thats all!