Endless Rain

Beautiful piece!

Spanish Romance

I love it,,,love it!

I am a bit excited today, I spoke to a director from Singapore. She worked in TV production for many years...she's 49 now and is doing her Masters in Documentary. Her name: Wahida.

OK the reason behind me being so excited is that we spoke about filmmaking, the procedures, editing tools etc. She is a professional and I felt like I got my invaluable resource of information...the door to gain knowledge from an expert. So I tried to share whatever I knew to check out what I was missing...learnt a lot from her and our conversation went really well.

I have been working on this short film plot for a while, and had shared that idea with many of my friends. I was a bit disappointed because most of them didn't really get the point...so I left it at that.

So today I took the opportunity and described her the plot...she seemed quite excited about it...I was soooo glad...well she could actually visualise the things exactly as I meant...and she was contributing...it was very interactive.

So yes, seems like I am in the right track...hope I don't get steered away!

A man is having a long walk...he is listening to music on i-shuffle. So many thoughts are passing his mind.He is a writer and is busy constructing stories...he sees images, flashes of memories, faces,expressions,bits and pieces of events...

There were birds flying around and it was a windy afternoon. He was walking around in a park.

Suddenly he saw an image in his mind. Someone walking fast(only legs can be seen), as he was about to turn to a corner, a strong wind past and a bird flew and hit his stomach. The man falls and the bird's beak had hit his stomach, and as the man held the bird; accidentally; he was quivering, and the bird scratched him more to fight free. The man lies on the pavement,blood spilling on all directions and people are circling around him.

At that moment something hit the writer, he held his stomach, holding whatever had hit him,he fell down and started screaming like a hurt man.

A boy called back and ran towards him, "Sorry! are you hurt?"

The boy was trying hard to keep himself from laughing. The writer suddenly realized something. He opened his hands, it was just a ball! A tennis ball!

The writer stood up and gave the ball to the boy, ashamed of his reaction . Others stared at him as if he was mad. Who would ever know, what was going on in his mind?

I don't know what had happened recently...I have been writing a lot of crap in here...looks like a mess down there!

I realized that I haven't written any of my thoughts and ideas here...I usually put them down in my diary...but God! This place seems to be starving for my thoughts!



So okay I'll start by putting my about life at first. Well it is my point of view and only applicable to me of course. ...

You see I think one should break up the life into phases...like,
each 5 years= 1 phase
...And every phase should have a purpose...it should start off with a new beginning…
....a new prespective of life...a new life...
if one fails in one phase…then should start off fresh with a new phase....if succeeds in a phase one can continue that phase and prolong the success....I think in that way one can never be depressed with life...and life would be much simpler, yet fulfilling...

I want to be in my death bed thinking...what have I done...if I can think of a phase of my life that I loved and enjoyed then I can die peacefully...and much would be done in a life time , don't you think? ?

So I was thinking that day,

I am sitting in this cold dark room
lonely and sad
and your face keeps
flashing
over and over again!

I am desperately holding on to
the memories that I had
with you my darling
I remember the times when you would
nuzzle at my ears
and make me blush!

And how you held me
in your warm arms
So safe I felt then
How nice it felt..

Yes I am remembering all that had happened
It's sad though!
What went wrong??
It never worked and never would...

I miss you deeply it is true..
Would you come back again
and kiss my forehead
just as you did...

Would you touch my temple?
As tenderly as you did
And speak to me with that deep voice
....enlightening me with all your thoughts!

Yes I miss you deeply
It is true...
Yes I am holding on those sweet memories...
remembering you...

Moon?

Sometimes I wonder

Am I like a moon?

My mood as you see

Is sometime shiny

And sometime blue

You look at me from a distance

I seem nice?

But as you come closer and closer

You would see all the flaws within

I take deep breath...

It's sad though

With all the love that I have got...

I hide my self behind the fake thick curtain

Showing different shapes

At different times

AS I glow...

I smile and love

And then I disappers

You won't find the person you had loved

with affection and care

I seem nice

From far you see

But as you come close to me

you would see all the flaws within

I am a moon you see

I shine on your light

and act like it is mine!

I hide behind the thick thick curtain

Taking different shapes

You would see the different sides of me at times

Yet you would still love me

And write poems about me

and compare me with your love

I look up

As I look up at the sky
the dark dark sky

I sigh

No stars up high
I sigh and sigh

Where will I find those glittering
and gleaming

and twinkling stars

That I wish I could reach

And touch…

I wait and wait

As patiently as I can…

Is it a test or punishment?

I know not…
But I wait…

And then the wait is over

I know what it is worth...

The star that I had longed for

All these years or so…

Is playing peek a boo

With my tiny little soul

I sigh again…

For I know I can’t reach it

Anymore

Will the star finally give in

Or should I wait some more….

Would you?

Would you like to join the dance with me?
Would you like to sing that song for me?
Would you like to be my guest in the mid-night?
Would you share the life with me?
Would you care if I die?
Would you really care if I lie?
Would you be by my side?
Would you like to share this life with me?
Would you be the one...
...the one who can save me?
...and take care of me...
Would you like to sing that song for me?

I love thee

I love thee as I
see
wisdom flows in deep deep sea
I love thee
those creases
excites me!
As I hear those words
and I hear with wide sparkling eyes
I try to understand
put up a helping hand...
but then I know you know more
listen as I listen
I touch
I caress the creases on your forehead
and touch those silver threads
and I stare at your beautiful eyes glinting with love
I try to go deep in your mind
swim and dive deep down
I see through your eyes
the world I have never seen
I love thee!
I love to hear you speak
and as you enlighten me with all that you have learnt
seen
and observed
Your care and wisdom
touches me deep within
you inspire me
you enlighten me
I love thee!

Above was an old old poem from prior 2007..I have somehow mess3d up all the timelines

So what is it I really want?

Do I want to lead a normal life where I just get a decent job,get married and have kids...and then blame my kids and pot-bellied hubby forever coz in my death bed I won't be able to think of anything I did in my life that is worth it?!


Or do I just be a complete loser by slumping on my couch and watching all the films people had made and then keep bickering that I could've done better...but everyone else would roll their eyes?!


Hump!I don't want to be either of them!I wanna do something...direct films....but when??how??

I mean I have got the stories planned out but I don't have the equipments to work on indie...



And who am I kidding, I am broke most of the time....Gosh maybe my life will be like that of the crappy movie Bowfinger!lol!

My Music Video

Ok..sorry to keep you waiting for so long for the details...well the main reason for not putting it up was..I was really worried that I might not be able to finish it on time...

Anyway..now that it is done..here goes!

The day before shooting..Friday 23rd Feb,2007...I started reminding everyone that they were to make it by 10am at my house the next day(I had already booked them up for Sat,24th Feb 2007, giving them certain instructions for costumes etc...a "week" back)...but on that 23rd Friday...Sharmin my dear friend let me know at 11pm ( night) that she had forgotten to call up this girl I was asking for(was supposed to playing a part in my video!)...now that she had called her..she said she cudn't make it in such short notice!After sulking with Sharm..I called the girl..talked to her for a long time...and then she agreed.Then I called Ornob(Yes..the famous Ornob singer!)...he had just then stepped down from plane...I had asked him to help me with camera work..coz he was experienced and all, plus he had professional camera etc..and he seemed quite enthusiastic at the time...
Anyway he told me he would be there too the next day...
So happy and glad..with a lot of things in my mind...I sat down and started working on some accessories...my storyboard etc...then went to bed really late.

Shooting day:24th Feb,2007

Woke up early.
Sharm came at 10 am exactly...me glad..but she gloomy...she had to go home early..and could give me only an hour or so...where as she was to stay till afternoon!Me pissed a little...
Then called Ornob..doesn't answer phone..WORRIED..
Called Iftee..busy with his application stuffs...promised will be coming soon...still didn't have his sports apparel but will be getting them soon...
Oh My God!I was shocked and not happy with progress...all my plans were going wrong...meanwhile Ornob still not answering phone... must be sleeping after a week long travel!
Oh..I haven't told already...that I needed a child star...who I couldn't manage...so I was counting on a RISK...If I see a kid on the playground I'll convince and shoot...I know..everyone thought it was stupid!But I had to take the risk!No OPTION!

Ok so my characters were as follows:
A little girl<- lonely when she was a kid
A big girl<- Is looking sad thinking about her chilhood
Another hot looking woman<-getting plastic surgery..but becomes a warewolf after!Just a joke on plastic surgery
A guitarist
A footballer<- kicks ball on the screen (!)

So I was still at home calling Ornob and waiting for Iftee(supposed to be the footballer)..By the way Sharm and Iftee are going out...
Anyway...to make things worse that girl I called last night..sms- es me she can't make it for blah blah reasons..
So me thinking hard..what to do..I had to everything on Sat coz that is the onlyday I have holiday...
I called my neighbor..Farah...cud she come up??She said she had exams the next day..but since I insisted she came..on the spot I told her she had to give a shot for my Video...she estatic...quickly put on some makeup to look nice on the camera(my digital one...).
Then after trial and error...I got the shot I had wanted!
Iftee came at 11am..with his jersey and all...He got dressed and we were ready to go out...
meanwhile Ornob's cellphone was off...so I had to pray to Allah...and worried how my cheap camera will work...worried and a little down.. we headed off to a playground...

Now the hot girl for the Plastic surgery part called and said she couldn't make it!Anyway... none of the playground we went to wheren't right..In one of the there was league match so couldn't enter...the others didn't look green enough..by this time Iftee realized he didn't bring a football!
One bad news after another!

Anyway..while them two were loosing hope..I had to stay optimistic..finally I took them to a playground near my office..and that was it!There were some warm-up going on for a football match at oneside...and there was another playground with swings and all..just as in my storyboard that I had drawn...and it was empty..
So I went up a player and borrowed a ball..they gave me 10 mins..Iftee took some shots but at the end couldn't give a target...he is after all a PROGRAMMER..and a genius..but not a sportsman...and that was when I spotted a girl on a swing...perfect...she was cute and smart...I talked to her...and that was it...I took all the shots needed for my MV....

Then I went up to one of the players and asked if he could give a shot..he agreed...at it was superb!The effect was to make it look like the footballer hits on the camera and the screen breaks into pieces...Ofcourse I was behind the net but you couldn't tell...very smart!

Anyway...the guitarist was Iftee's friend..he could play well...and keeping the cosmic surgery part as cartoon...and not sleeping for 3 nights editing at midnight and working at office at daytime...I looked like a loonatic crazy woman...but it payed off...
My Video was posted and now I am happy that it is done!Thats all!

My letter to Prof Yunus on The Daily Star

You can check
@http://thedailystar.net/2007/02/12/d702121103107.htm

Some feedbacks I got after the letter got published

The following are the sms that I recieved after my letter got published.There were lots of calls too but I can't remember the exact words so didn't bother putting them down.


"Hi Sumaiya!This is Porna. Read a letter at The Daily Star, guess that is ur's.. if so then congr8s,if no then not 2 bother...m going congr8 u 4 ur job! Love 2 Sabrina.bye"

-Porna is my KHALA-which means she is my Aunt, my mom's cousine. She is living in Chittagon with her husband. She lives near the sea...and the view is sooooooooooo BEAUTIFUL!!


"Very nicely written by u on Dr.Yunus. I 100% agree with u. Good good & very good. I hope u will continue ur writing. May ALLAH help u all the time. Sejo Mama"

-Sejo mama is my loving UNCLE.He is my mom's older brother(in Bangla it is Mama) and is really spoiling us(me and my younger sis) with all his love!!


"We liked the way ur brain worked 2 give Dr. Yunus a wakeup call. We just read ur article. Keep up the good work. Hope you will not come 2 the politics. Ovi bhaia"

-Ovi bhaia is my cousine, and is currently staying in Australia with his wife and two beautiful daughters.

I wanna

I wanna live my days like it’s the last day
I wanna let my mind sway
to all possibilities
and impossibilities
I wanna run away…
far far away
I wanna be,
What I can’t be.
I wanna see
what I can’t
what I shan’t ...
I wanna scream
and dream;
and be crazy
and messy.
I wanna be happy,
and be sloppy.
I won’t be told off
nor will I be bothered.
I wanna to be on top of the mountain
And not fall off
I wanna be under the deep sea
And not be drowned.
I wanna be free
I wanna be
what I can never be…....

Attention: Prof. Yunus, please read this…

Not a scholar's job
I read the news on Professor Yunus that if circumstances push him he might join politics (01 Feb, 2007). I, however, don't believe that he should ever be pushed, or forced by anyone, into politics. Prof. Yunus is a scholar, a Nobel laureate, why should he be involved in politics?
Why should he take the dirt? Every political group in this world, check out history if you don't believe me, has both shares of success and failure on different issues. Do you disagree? Of course you don't. So I don't think, after all he had done, this great man should be pushed into anything that might make him controversial in the near future.
Why do you think God has put brain inside the head, well protected, instead of putting it outside? The hand and the legs do the work, the brain instructs. Prof. Yunus is our brain; let others do the work.
It has been proved that there are many capable people in this country to steer us onto the right track. Aren't our present chief advisor and other advisors an example?
I agreed with Prof. Yunus, when he said, "Clean people must take part in the elections even if it takes time to ensure that. Otherwise, the same problem will crop up again. Now we have a chance of a lifetime to cleanse our politics."
And so my point is, there are many honest, clean, efficient people in this country who are interested in politics; they could be convinced to get into politics.
Prof. Yunus could be a permanent adviser to help any elected government. Any government can take advice from him and his board, but why make him take this huge responsibility?
Prof. Yunus, whoever is pressurizing you to take the responsibility of becoming a politician is not being rational. Please think twice about it.

A wanna be Film director

So you get it, this page is all about me, so I am the wanna be film maker.So do I have any chance?
I don't know.But I have a lot of ideas, a vision.I believe that film is a strong
medium through which one can(director,script writer) can pass on idea and belief throughout the world.A film stays...if you have anything recorded it stays forever, the creator dies but work stays on.
I watch movies,I sleep and still watch movies.When I eat I still watch movies.When I am in the loo ..I think about stories that can be made into movies.
I have my own plans.
But I read in an online, freefilmschool.org, that everyone has great ideas, film is different.
But I have the passion...
Inside me.
I will become a film maker, one day...

So how do you think we should spend our lives?

So how do you think we should spend our lives?
Should we live a life full of action or should we just relax on our extremely comfortable sofas and
watch T.V and eat canned foods?
Should we read books or watch T.V/ movies?
Should we mind our work/job or back bite/criticise others?
Should we keep wondering about life form for generations after generations after...
or just shutup and live with the fact that we are alive and just live on?

Finally I start blogging!

Well I don't know what took so long for me to start blogging..Anyway I have so many notebooks where I can write all my thoughts.
So where to start?
HERE!!